51% Your Perfectionism
Updated: Jul 10, 2019
Perfection is what is telling us our kids have to look perfect, our house has to be totally clean. Perfection says we have to make it homemade and organic, or we have to be sexy and smart at the same time, and we have to pretend that all of this is easy too.
We think that when we reach this impossible goal we will be happy. But honestly, I'm exhausted just writing that paragraph. So, doing all of that at the same time sounds awful. Why do we expect to be able to do things all at once? The 51% principle is choosing what is important now.
My dad always said, and there are lots of versions of the same quote, "you can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want". I think maybe you can even have everything you want, you just can't have it all right now. Part of what makes something important, is when it's important. You can research Eisenhower's urgent/important chart to help figure this out.
The 51% principle is focusing on at least half of that chart that is most urgent and important. I make sure that at least 51% of what I want or need gets done, and the other smaller percentage waits their turn. It's not that I'm giving up on the other stuff, its just not the priority. If you struggle to get it all done, then most likely not everything is getting done the way you want anyway, and you don't enjoy yourself in the process. That is not perfection, that is unhappiness.
Now, I 'm not saying that we shouldn't care about our kids, or our house, or healthy food. But 51% it. Sometimes my kids look great because I'm in yoga pants. Sometimes I cook a beautiful healthy meal, and the laundry doesn't get done. Some times I look sexy for a night out with my husband, because my kids got mac and cheese. Sometimes I get this blog done, because I didn't mow the lawn. Sometimes we spend hours bonding with our kids in the backyard, and nothing "important" gets done.
Sometimes the 51% that is important will be productivity and chores, but sometimes the most important thing in the world is to connect. Connection comes from being with others, taking care of ourselves, and enjoying the world. If that isn't the most important thing, then what is the rest of it for?
Look around and ask, what is important to you right NOW? Focus on that and make room to enjoy it.
Make It Small,